Deja Vu All Over Again

Two straight days. The Halos usually solid defense crumbles as the Yanks get to the usually rock solid bullpen and beat the Halos 8-7 in 11 innings. K-Rod wasn't available after pitching three straight days so Shields and Donnelly had to play mop up. Goes to show why the season is a marathon not a sprint. Their arms were still feeling the effects of the 18 inning game vs the Blue Jays. Shields and Donnelly couldn't find the plate and the Yanks took advantage. Throw in a costly error by Erstad in the 8th and a tough hop Cabrera misjudged in the 10th, the Empire was able to hang in there and win it with Womack single in the 11th. Great win, considering the Twins gave us no help vs the Sux this weekend as they got swept. Gordon go back on track by pitching a scoreless 11th to get the win.

Randy Johnson must be seeing hanging sliders in his sleep. They've been killing him all year. He pitched pretty well except for two bad pitches to the Molina brothers. He's been pitching well lately. Hopefully he works out of it.

It looks as if the Sux have gotten over their dementia and decided not to trade Manny. They probably realized that no combination of players were going to give them what Manny gives that lineup. Looks like it's going to fight to the finish with the players we have. As I expected, noone was able to add a major piece to their teams for the pennant race. Hopefully, what we have is enough to get it done.

An Imperial Visit To The Press Box

As a reward for writing a couple of columns for his paper, the NY Beacon, my buddy Andrew offered me a chance for credentials for a game on this homestand. So I took him up on it and asked for Saturday's game vs the Halos. He came through like a champ. The pass gave me on-field before the game as well as press box access. Very cool.

Since I've been a partial season ticket holder for the last 5 years, I've seen my fair share of games live. So, it would make no sense if I got this unique opportunity and didn't write about it. I offered to write something for Andrew's paper, but because it's a weekly, the story would be dated. So I decided a journal for the Dark Side Chronicles.

Because of the F-king 4 train not running in Brooklyn Saturday and the D running at a snail's pace, I not only missed the chance to get on the field...I missed most of the first inning.

One of the nice things about being built like a football lineman is that people think twice before confronting you. I was dressed rather casually (Minor-League Johnny Bench Cap and shorts) so there were a couple of double takes when they saw me. But once they glanced down and saw the credential, that was the the end of it. Besides, I did my best to stay quiet and out of the way of the folks working so there were very few problems there. In fairness though, a guy from ESPN Radio complemented me on the jersey and asked where I bought it. I told him EBAY and told him that I'd email the seller to him when I get home.

Now those of you that know me know that I've been working in TV News for nearly 12 years. So there's very little that I'm gonna get Ga-Ga over. That being said, walking in the press box for the first time was VERY, VERY COOL. It's a little smaller than I thought, but as a journalist, it's cool to see these working at their craft. Most people don't appreciate that journalism isn't an art, it's a craft. And process is very important. Everyone has their own way of doing things, but understanding the process really makes you appreciate what it takes to be a beat writer for a team.


SECOND INNING

Chacon is pitching well. He has a nice fastball and curve. Sharp breaking ball. And he's throwing strikes which was my main concern. From what I had read about him, I knew he had decent stuff and he was a competitor. But he walked a lot of guys so I wasn't sure if he was concerned about throwing strikes at Coors Field or what. But he's been throwing it over the plate, so so far so good.

The Yankees get two in the bottom of the frame, but it could have been more had Posada not grounded into a 6-6-3 double play. I'm not gonna dump on him too much but Jorge has always rubbed me the wrong way. More on him in a bit.

A guy decides to stand right in front of me and start a conversation during the inning. I'm a newbie in the box but I'm not gonna have anyone just outright disrespect me. I give a look and he gets the hint that he needs to be elsewhere.

THIRD INNING

Figgins gets another basehit and stolen base. This guy kills us. Absolutely kills us. He's hitting .500 vs the Yanks, and is a threat to steal everytime on base. To top it off, he's a switchhitter who plays pretty much every position on the field. Which pretty much guarantees himself a position in the lineup everyday. Just sick.

A-Rod makes a nice play on Cabrera to get the second out as Figgins goes to third on throw. Smart play by Chone. Because Posada mishandles a breaking ball from Chacon and Figgins scores on the passed ball. 2-1 Yanks. Posada really makes me miss and appreciate what we had in Joe Girardi. He didn't have Jorge's bat. But he called a good game and blocked the plate well. He also had a calming effect on the pitching staff. You didn't see all the confrontations with pitchers that Jorge has. And despite the fact that he's gotten some big hits in the past, he's not as clutch in the way some of the players are. Ugh. I know there aren't switch-hitting catchers with power out there, but if there were a big blockbuster deal where we could get a big-time pitcher and he had to be a piece in the deal, I'd do it in the heartbeat.

FOURTH INNING
The voice of God, Bob Shepard asks "Majelique Lewis to report the Yankee Lobby. Now!" Whoa. When the voice of God tells you report, pretty hard not to jump real high. I know he's about 85, but he probably got all the women with that voice as a kid. Imagine him saying, "YOU WILL TAKE OFF YOUR PANTIES, AND GET NAKED!!! RIGHT NOW!!! Kind of like Teddy Pendergrass or Barry White. Scare the women into bed with your voice. I think I'm going to take voice lessons. As it turned out, Lewis was a missing kid who was eventually found alive in Queens of all places. Pretty wild story. I overheard a writer talking about it with someone on the phone, but he wouldn't say anything about it obviously.

Tim McCarver walks by to go to the bathroom. It takes every bit of my willpower not to strike him down right there. I wish I really could generate lightning bolts. God, he's annoying. I don't know how those small broadcast booths hold his, Buck's, Sterling's and Walden's egos. How I hate them...

Jeter comes out to Cassidy's "I'm a Hustler." He has to be one of the coolest athletes ever. I admit, I wasn't the biggest Jeter fan in the world. But he's grown on me. He's worth every penny.

Big Head Joe Buck walks by. And I do mean BIG HEAD. I was expecting him to say "Take me to your leader. We're from France." He's about 6 foot. Four feet of it is head. Hilarious.

FIFTH INNING

Jim Leyritz walks in and starts taking pictures with his kids. I was reluctant to do it at first, but I decided to take a couple of pics from the box including this one on the right. The only problem with the view is that it's hard seeing the Jumbotron standing up for me.

Chacon busts his ass while warming up. Hilarious.

Bernie crushes one into the right field seats to make it 3-1. My favorite player in this entire run for the Yankees has been number 51. Class act. Huge fan. If they don't resign him at reduced rate, I hope he just retires. I would hate to see him in another uniform. It would break my heart.

SEVENTH INNING


Chacon is lifted before the inning starts. Great start for Chacon. Hopefully he'll keep this up.

Speed kills. After Felix Rodriguez walks the leadoff batter, Torre lifts him for new Yankee Alan Embree, who picked up off the scrap heap from Boston. He's wearing number 46, Andy Pettitte's old number. Not loving that at all. Kennedy gets a bloop hit that Womack should have caught and that's when the fun starts. Figgins sac bunts to men over. But instead of one out, Embree throws the ball away and a run scores. 3-2. Gordon comes in and proceeds to give up a 2 run single. 4-3 Angels. After being advanced to by a Erstad ground out to 2nd, Cabrera advances to third when Gordon balks. He then scores on Vlad groundout to 2nd. 5-3 Angels. Gordon strikes out Garret Anderson to end the inning. He's booed mercilessly off the mound.

The Yanks go quietly in order to end the inning.

That entire innning was set up by speed. Embree rushing the throw to first. Cabrera disrupting Gordon's concentration and getting him to balk. The Angels might the best team in the American League right now. They play great defense, their starters are solid, the bullpen is lights out and they have combination of speed and power in the lineup. They also make the pitcher work by taking pitches. They're the team the Twins want to be but can't afford it. I know Chicago is dangerous, but I'd pick the Angels over them in a series because they have guys that have been there before. That experience is invaluable in the playoffs. God, I hate them....

EIGHTH INNING

Juan Rivera crushes a two-run homer off of Gordon. 7-3. It looks as if the wind has been knocked out of the Yanks sails when Giambi hits a 2 run homer to make it 7-5. But K-Rod looms in the ninth.

NINTH INNING
Mo comes in totally punks out Vlad before mowing him down. He also K's Erstad as he retires the side in order.



K-Rod comes in and I think the game is over. But Womack, Jeter and Sheff work walks. With one out. A-Rod works a walk and to cut the margin to one. Then Matsui comes to the plate. I don't know what to expect. I want to start screaming, but there's no cheering in the press box. It's then that I know that I'm wayy too much of a fan to do this for a living. It's too tough not to root. And when Matsui hits the game winning double, I quietly find some like-minded souls and shake hands. Great game. I was a complete wreck. I had to hang out in Union Square for three hours just to cool off. Great win off a tough team to end a great day.

More Dumping On The Man-Ram

Wow, that sounds gay....Gordon Edes and Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe have written two on-point columns on the latest episode of "As The Manny Turns".

There have been some Yankee and Mutt fans who have said that they would love him on their team. Are you friggin serious??? It's becoming very apparent that the Sux won in spite of his antics not because of them. I can't speak for the Infidel Mutts, but I want him nowhere near the Stadium wearing pinstripes. This jackass gives a bad name to jackasses everywhere...



If you're wondering what he's doing in that picture, he went into the Green Monster scoreboard to take a piss. A piss!!!! Do you want him out in Monument Park??

Obi-Wan Was Right

Obi-Wan Kenobi once said that the force has a way of influencing the feeble-minded. That you can influence the weak and idiotic among us to do your bidding by using the force. However, rumors that the Imperial council has been using their powers to manipulate weak-minded infidels to do our bidding and muck up the works on their team are completely false.


Who could they possibly be talking about? Who's stupid enough that could we possibly influence get them to do our bidding and work for us?




Never Mind....

Don't F**k With The Captain

I don't if you've had a chance to read Lloyd Grove's column in the Daily News today. But it's just a little reminder of what happens to those who want to mouth off at the Captain during a ball game.

I know some infidels are probably going to use this against Jeter. But I say good for him. I'm tired of these jackass fans who think that just because they have a ticket, they have a right to say whatever they want to athletes. Jeter handled it the right way. Next time, Shut the f**k up and watch the game.

Summer of Discontent In Infidel Nation

Rainman Manny is at it again. The Infidels' favorite space cadet says that he wants to be traded from the Sux. It's probably not gonna happen since he makes $20 Million a year, but one can dream. Manny has been one of the best right-handed hitters in baseball for the last 10 years. It would definitely help our fortunes if he were to be traded from Third World Nation. One rumor has him going to the Mutts. From one sewer to another. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.


What is this idiot thinking about? He's living in a city, where he could get caught with two 13 years olds and a strap-on in the back seat of his car...and he'd only get off with a warning from the cops. He's a god in Infidel Nation! This guy doesn't have to pay for another drink or dinner in New England for the rest of his life!! He was the MVP of the most significant moment in the history of Boston Sports. And he's bitching about his privacy??? What did he expect? He just a brought a championship to Boston for the first time in 86 years!!!! Did he think he'd be able walk around anonymously in Harvard Square? Idiot.

Boston is a tough sports town. Their fans have two speeds: bitch and whine. But I also know that they treat their sports stars like kings there...so whatever inconveniences in privacy are probably offset by the fact that he's treated like Zeus wherever he goes. I know the fact that that there are only 10 Dominicans in New England probably doesn't help matters in his eyes either. But it's a shame that he has no idea what he means to that region and that he'll never, NEVER EVER, be treated as well as he's treated in Beantown. I hope he does go to the Mets. So he can poison their operation as well. The dark side works in mysterious ways.....

Biggie Small is the Illest!!

Aaron(Biggie)Small gave the Yanks a much needed quality start yesterday as Yanks beat the Twinkies 6-3 to take the series 2-1. I know the Twins can't hit their way out of a paper bag, but you can't dismiss how important his performance was. We don't need win 10-12 games in a row, but we need to continue to win series. If we win two out of three, three out of four that puts continued pressure on Infidel Nation. And with that team coming apart at the seams(more on that later), the O-No's fading fast and the Jays stuck at .500; this is a prime opportunity for us to gain some ground in the division.

Going to tonight's game. Some payback is forthcoming to these West Coast bitches....

Adventures In The God Seats

Last night's game was a very long and strange trip. I attended the game with the Yankee vixens Karen and Tonya, and Erica, a Braves fan who is slowly but surely, converting to ways of the dark side.

Hard to categorize Al Leiter's performance last night. I can see why Mets fans were in agony whenever started games for them last year. 115 pitches in 5 innings??? Whoa. Every pitch was high drama with him. I don't if I can deal with a season of that. Despite that, he only gave up one run and the Yanks still had a chance to win the game until Sturtze and Proctor spit the bit in the 7th and 8th. Johann Santana wasn't dominant, but he kept the boys off balance just enough to kill any possible rallies.

I truly hate, TRULY HATE, very large groups of kids that come to the stadium. They're always unruly, and if you're unfortunate enough to be sitting nearby...it's almost impossible to follow the game. The goofing off, the screaming for Jeter at the top of their lungs, the screaming for candy....arghh!!! I spent the part of the game teaching Erica how to kill those brats with force lightning bolts.


After constant complaining by members of the Imperial Council, the Emperor has made this decree..."Anyone who initiates or continues the wave at Yankee Stadium will be skinned alive, doused in lemon juice and fed to pirahnas. This is not Shea Stadium or a minor league park in the sticks. This is the cathedral of baseball. Not Chuckie Cheese. If you don't have the attention span to pay attention to the game...either take your medication or stay home. If I see this happen again, the perpetrators will suffer severe consequences."

Imperial Council Denies Involvement In Clement Injury

Despite infidel accusations to the contrary, the Imperial council vehemently deny any involvement in the injury of Red Sox pitcher Matt Clement. Emperor Palpatine said in a statement today, "While it is in the realm of our powers to affect the trajectory of a hit baseball so that it would smash a pitcher in the head. It is a violation of Sith Lord law to use your powers to affect the outcome of a baseball game. If it has been found that a Sith Lord was involved in this action, they shall be dealt with harshly."




Clement was taken off on a stretcher after being hit by a line drive by Devil Rays outfielder Carl Crawford in the third inning Tuesday. Reports that Carl Crawford has been taking computer courses on how to tap into the power of the Dark Side of the force are erroneous.

"Carl Crawford, being a member of an AL East Rival, is a member of a Level 1 Infidel organization." the Emperor said, "Teaching someone even the most rudimentary aspects of the dark arts is punishable by banishment or death. Even if Clement's injury is beneficial to the Empire, the potential benefits are far outweighed by the harm of an infidel learning the ways of the dark side. The results could wreak havoc on the entire baseball universe." When asked how that could possibly happen, Emperor Palpatine said, "Imagine Tampa or Colorado in first place. Then multiply that 100 and you get an idea of the potential havoc wreaked by such a violation."

Imperial investigators are also looking into the possibility of a rogue Sith Lord who is currently in hiding, possibly being involved in the incident. Investigators suspect that General Zod (seen here using his powers), might have been involved in the Tampa incident. Zod, who has been charged with treason for aiding and abetting the Mets in their recent successful homestand, has been in hiding ever since the indictments came in. His wife and family are being held in custody until he surrenders.

Infidel Ignorance

An infidel Red Sux fan has decided to start his own blog in response all the Imperial Websites out there. He calls himself Uncle Buck . And despite his inability to spell or use spellcheck, it's actually pretty funny. Take a look when you get a chance.

I Hate West Coast Games...

Particularly in Anaheim. That damned team gives us fits. They weren't on the Infidel list. They are now. They are now enemies of the Empire. I'm done with them. So is the Emperor. Here's what he had to say on the subject.

We should have been 8-3 on this road trip. We were 6-5 instead. I can live with that considering our pitching situation. Thanks to the D-Rays win last night, Huff's HR off of Fat-Boy Slim last night put us one game out. Wow. Now the Twinkies are in town. If we can get some payback vs them and the new infidels, we're back in business. And then the Emperor will have this to say on the matter.

Baseball Fan Vs Yankee Fan/Interteam Relationships

This stupid question has been ballied around for a bit, so I'm going to bite. Are you a Yankee fan first or a Baseball fan? Infidels throw this silly accusation at Yankee fans as a not so subtle dig that Yankee fans mostly consist of front-runners who know nothing about the game. Who don't care about what happens in the game unless it concerns the Empire. Complete garbage. It's their way of making themselves feel morally superior because they root for teams that aren't as successful as the Yanks. "Rooting for a winner is too easy. Rooting for (fill in the team) requires character."

Bullshit. When the Steelers stunk for decades and then had that great run in the 70's, their fans were rewarded for the patience and loyalty. They also gained a lot of new fans because they were winning. When you win consistently your fan base grows. When you lose consistently, your fan base shrinks. Simple as that. Rooting for a team has nothing to do with character. Yes, there are people out there who jump team to team...and they should have their skin peeled off their bodies and fed to the rats. But most people are fans of a certain team and stick with it. If you're rooting for a team because it makes you feel morally superior than you have problems.

I grew up a Yankee fan because my father took me to games as a kid and Reggie Jackson. I loved those 70's Yankees team and won't apologize for it. I also have no problem saying that had I been born 20 or 30 years earlier, I probably would not have been a Yankee fan considering the overt racism and hostility Yankee ownership expressed toward Black fans and Black players. But King George III owned my Yankees and those teams had players like Reggie, Paul Blair, Willie Randolph, Dave Winfield, Mickey Rivers and host of others. So I never had to make that tough judgement call. My uncle did, and he was and is a die-hard Yankees fan. I doubt if I would have made the same decision.

I grew up a Yankees fan, but over the years, my knowledge and love for the game itself has grown leaps and bounds. As a teenager, I hated those 80's Cardinals team. I thought they were a pesky bunch with no pop in their bats except for Jack Clark. It wasn't until years later when I appreciated how good and special those teams were.

How important pitching and defense are. Their ability to move the runners over. How speed on the basepaths can affect the pitcher on the mound. From the pitches he throws, to the number of times he checks the runner, to the opening created in the defense because they have to hold the runner at the base. I didn't understand the amount of strategy that's involved in every game so I poo-pooed them and teams like them as pesky and boring. My mistake.

I learned to appreciate the nuances of the game and the more I learned, the more I loved it. Over the years, I went from becoming a Yankee fan to a baseball fan. I watched any game that was on. I made road trips to watch any game I could find. Didn't matter if the Yanks were playing or not. I just wanted to see a game. The Yanks are my first love. But if the Yanks were to go out of business tomorrow. After checking myself out of rehab after binge-drinking and drug use; I'd still watch the games with the same intensity that I watch now. Would I have a specific rooting interest? Probably not. But I'd still watch the games.

I'm not writing this to feel morally superior to anyone. We have to approach this thing in our own way. Most people love their team more than they love the sport. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as they're going to the games and not wearing pink Yankee caps, they're cool with me.

Another question that's been out there is the question of Inter-team relationships. Should you date someone who roots for someone who roots for your rival. My answer to that is: if you're cutting someone off just because of the team they root for...then you're destined to be alone. I've dated many an infidel. And yes, they can be annoying. But then again, so can I. And I'd rather date an infidel who is passionate about her team then someone who could care less about sports in general.

At least the infidel can empathize with you when you're talking passionately about your team. They won't bother you while the game is on with dumb shit that can wait. It's a game to be enjoyed. If that's the only that's keeping you from talking someone, you really need to get a grip. As long as they're respectful and not obnoxious, give them a chance. Life is too friggin short to be fighting imaginary battles.

General Zod Spotted At Shea!!!

It has been brought to the Emperor's attention that a respected member of the Empire has jumped ship and joined the rebellion.


Willie Parker (aka General Zod seen here in this 1980 photo)was spotted at Shea Stadium enjoying a game at Shea Stadium as the infidel Mutts took on the Padres. He went to the game with Imperial enemy #1, Metstradamus. Not only was he seen rooting for the infidels over the Padres.... Word has it, that he's using his powers to influence the outcomes of games. "How else can you explain the Mets sweeping the first place Padres, beating the Nationals 3 out of 4 and splitting with their hated rivals, the Braves?" says an Imperial official. "Someone with a knowledge of how to tap into the power of the dark side had to be influencing those outcomes. The Mets uneven play was the first indication. One day they look like worldbeaters, the next they look like Arturo Gatti after the Mayweather fight. We feel that Zod has been secretly going to Mets games and using his powers to help the infidels. But he couldn't go to every game without it looking suspicious. That is, until he found the right disguise."

Investigators say that Parker used his powers to change his appearance, so he could fool Imperial agents who were on his tail. The council had suspicions that Parker was going to change sides, when he was buying a pink Piazza Jersey. They were concerned that his power could greatly aid the Infidel cause. Here's what Zod looked like at the Mutts Game.

As you can see, Zod has altered his appearance to look like Padres Great Tony Gwynn. Gwynn(seen here below to the right) was found dead later in the evening in garbage dump in El Segundo, California.

Imperial officials feel that Zod killed the baseball great several weeks ago and waited until the Padres came to play the Mutts to strike. Zod/Parker is currently in hiding after Imperial Stormtroopers raided his home and took his wife and two sons in custody


The Emperor made this statement; "While it's not in custom with Imperial procedure to use women and children as a barter tools, let me be very clear in saying that if the accused doesn't turn himself in, we can't be responsible for any harm that might befall his wife and children. If he values the lives of his loved ones, Mr Zod will turn himself in immediately. Their fate is in his hands."

Friday Afternoon Venting

I was eventually able to get to sleep sometime after 4 am. Needless to say, I'm beat. I took some ginseng and I've already had a can of coke and Mountain Dew so I'm ok right now. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and I fall asleep in a ditch somewhere in the city....

The Imperial Council has decided that killing Groom after last night's debacle might be a little harsh. He's still somewhat effective vs lefthanders. However, Scott Proctor must die a horrible death for not being able to throw strikes.

I'm debating on whether or nor I should see the Bad News Bears tonight. It's gotten generally good reviews and I like Billy Bob Thornton. But I don't think I'll be able to stay awake, working on 3 hours sleep. So we'll see. Gotta check out the new Willie Wonka and Weddding Crashers as well.

Why did this jackass possibly involved in the latest London Bombings have to be wearing this?



A terrorist wearing a New York sweatshirt??? Not cool. Not cool at all. You can't be rocking that and pulling that garbage. This is however, is perfect terrorist apparel.



Just kidding!!! Only kidding....sorry, I couldn't resist.....

Yankee Insomnia

I'm still up because of that damn loss. I was on the phone with one of my greatest enemies, Willie Parker (aka General Zod), and we were blaming each other for the loss tonight for the last two hours. He wants Randy Johnson dead. I, however, used the force to help him see the error of his ways. We agreed however that Proctor and Groom should die a horrible death.

I don't how many of you are Superman II fans, but I found the funniest site ever that's dedicated to all things General Zod. I pissed in my pants when I saw these insurance ads.





Randy Johnson's ok. They took him out as a precaution. I can breath now. I don't have to kill anyone tonight.

One last note on the game....Michael Kay and Bobby Murcer are the worst announcing team on the air right now. God awful. Murcer might be the worst baseball analyst ever. He gives you nothing new and insightful. He's constantly stumbling over himself. He doesn't know jack about the players. Kitty and Singleton always give you a couple of nuggets a game. Even Justice will give you something from time to time. Murcer is hot garbage. He makes Fran Healy look like Tim McCarver. I know he's a Yankee liferGeorge, but get him off the air please. Give him a front office job with Reggie or something.

I'm going to bed now or at least try....

Playing the part of Joe Torre in tonight's performance...Terry Francona

I don't want to sound like a bitter Red Sux fan. But this loss pissed me off.

K-Rod nails it down with runners on 1st and 3rd as the Angels win 6-5. This loss falls on St. Joe's shoulders. This is a team that we historically have problems with and we have a chance to win the first game of the set. You can't lose this way. Your team is fighting for their lives to get back in this pennant race. YOU CANNOT GIVE GAMES LIKE THIS AWAY. A manager has to put his team in the best position to win. Torre didn't do that tonight. This is no time dibble and dabble and experiment with the middle relief. Proctor and Groom had no business starting the 7th inning. Not against this team. Proctor can't throw strikes and Groom is lefty specialist. You give them an opening and this is what happens. Plus unlike the Sux, they have a great bullpen that nails it down when you give them a lead. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Win the ones you can, when you can. If it means that you overextend the guys a bit, so be it.

I love St. Joe. And the starters have to start going 7+. But the way this team is set up right now, you have to lean on the back of the pen a little more than usual. Especially when you have a tough road trip like this. A win tonight would have meant we were guaranteed at least 6 wins on this 11 game road to hell. Now who knows. This is a team that can sweep the Yanks. They pitch well, run well, play good defense and hit the ball consistently,

But I still like the way this team is battling, I think this will make them stronger. But the manager has to make it easier, not harder.

Hopefully Randy's back is ok.

West Coast Torture

Never fails. This is why I hate staying up for West Coast games. Particularly against the Angels. We're 5-2 in 7th, Johnson comes out either because he's tired or tweaked something. Matsui and Giambi hit solo shots out in the 7th. But instead of seeing Sturtze in the bottom of the frame, who do I see? Scott(What's a strike?)Proctor!!! What does he do? He walks the man up. Torre gives him the hook. He brings Buddy Groom. He gives up two hits to right handers and strikes out Erstad. In comes Gordon vs Vlad the Impaler. Dominicans terror trifecta that give me nightmares (Manny and Ortiz are the others if you had to guess). F***ing Michael Kay mentions the fact that he's 0-3 lifetime vs Gordon and batting only .266 with one HR with the bases loaded. You know what happens next. Grand Slam into Left Center. 6-5 Angels.

I'm sorry. Joe fucked this one up. If you want to rest Sturtze fine. But Proctor CANNOT THROW STRIKES. CANNOT THROW STRIKES. CANNOT THROW STRIKES!!!! Have Rodriguez start the frame. He has more experience and has nastier stuff. He's just off the DL but if he can pitch the 8th (like he just finished the frame right now)then he can pitch the 7th. I know you don't want to wear these guys out. But you cannot give games like this away when you're in a pennant race. He's playing like's he's 3 games up instead of a half game out. The Sux picked up Schilling after he blew a save tonight so the best we can do is stay. Now we have to face K-Rod. I hate West Coast games.

Infidel Angst At Its Best

I've said in the past that it's the job of every member of the empire to torture the infidels they know. But sometimes, just sometimes, they torture themselves. And nooone does angst better than the Red Sux.

A perfect example of this is illustrated in Bill Simmons latest column. I swear, if you listen WEEI in Boston, you would never have known they won it all last year. They are such a miserable lot. You think WFAN is hard on NYC teams. WEEI is 24/7 Sux bashing. You'd think that nothing but Yankee fans call in to this station. Wow, they were wondering what they'd do after they won it all. Now we know. Whine and complain like the narcisistic jackasses they are.

Small Pitches Big For Bombers

The Yanks are now 5-2 on this road trip with a 8-4 win over the Rangers. They bang out 6 bombs including two each by Giambi and Tino. Posada and Cano bang one each. But the biggest surprise was Aaron throwing 5 plus and getting the win.

Wow, I absolutely love the way this team is battling right now. They're finding ways to win. Sheff, A-Rod and Matsui can't buy a hit tonight? No problem, the bottom of the order comes through. Have to use a spot starter for Columbus? No problem. Small comes up huge. This team is finally a team. They're picking each other up and that's great to see.

Giambi is back!!! If he can stay healthy, that makes our lineup just sick. There's a rumor that the Rockies are trying to shop outfielder Eric Byrnes. I say we make that deal if they're not asking for the entire store. He's a player. He's a good outfielder, runs well, and has some pop in his bat. Bat him at the bottom of the order. Nice to have a guy who hit 20 jacks a year batting 9th.....

The Emperor Works In Mysterious Ways

Frustrated with Boston's constant challenging of the Empire; The Emperor has decided to use the dark side of the force to turn the tide. Blatant use of the force against athletes is illegal during any particular sports season where said athlete participates. But they never said anything about the off-season....





This just hit the wires....


BOSTON (AP) New England Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi, who suffered a mild stroke earlier this year, has decided to sit out the 2005 season, the team said in a statement issued Wednesday.
``His health has improved steadily during the past five months and Tedy continues to make daily improvements with his ongoing rehabilitation,'' team spokesman Stacey James said in a statement. ``It has been an offseason of many emotional highs and lows for Tedy and his family.
``With the Patriots' training camp reporting date now just over a week away, Tedy has reached a decision on his playing status for the upcoming season and has declared his intentions to forgo the 2005 campaign.''
Bruschi suffered the stroke in February, three days after playing in the Pro Bowl in Hawaii.
The linebacker, one of the defending Super Bowl champions' most popular players and a key defensive player, suffered the stroke 10 days after the Patriots won their third Super Bowl in four years, 24-21 over the Philadelphia Eagles.



Up next Tom Brady.....

Dell DJ Morning Odyssey

I made one of the worst mistakes of my life on Monday. I forgot my Dell DJ at home. It didn't kill me at the gym. But it meant that I had to deal every banal conversation within earshot on the subway, the horrible Jehovah's Witnesses singing outside of my train stop and the old bat who insisted on reading over my shoulder..telling me that she can't read the words in my book because she's near-sighted and just being an all-around pain in the ass.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I generally have a great deal of respect for my elders. But if my train stop hadn't come up when it did, I was this close to throwing her a major league/Ike Turner style beating.

The only thing that made my day from hell bearable was my beloved Dell DJ. It enables to me to fight the forces of stupidity that can make this city seem like Mt. Doom. So to protect myself, I made sure that I was armed with my tunes for the day's commute.

I put my Rock/Pop section on shuffle and I was ready to go. One note on the shuffle; it can be a little disconcerting going from Jeff Buckley to Herb Albert to the Clash to Carly Simon to Prince to Metallica to the Carpenters. But anything's better than listening to two women talking about their support hose and their bowel movements (true story). I wanted to gnaw off my arm and beat myself to death with it.

Walking to the gym, John Mayer's "Daughters" came on. Great song. It's the sort of song that if done wrong, can off as some syrupy ballad that some jackass wrote to get laid. As it stands, Mayer probably gets more ass than a toilet seat because of that song and "Your Body's A Wonderland". But I don't begrudge him for it. It's not like my Red Soxesque hatred for Babyface, who wrote a song about 15 years ago called "Soon As I Get Home From Work." The chorus of the song will tell you why I feel Mr Edmonds should die a very painful death; It goes "I'll pay your rent, I'll buy your clothes, I'll cook your dinner too....Soon as I get home from work." What?????? He set the neanderthal movement back 200 years by writing that song. As a result, poor schmucks everywhere had to answer questions from their dumbass girlfriends about why they couldn't pay their bills. He should have his nuts stabbed with a rusty screwdriver.

The "NYC, I don't give a damn how gay I look, I'm doing it anyway" moment of the day. The Gym's desk attendant had a 80's R&B/Dance CD on and Wham's "Everything She Wants" came on. That was the jam back in the day and anybody who fronts and acts like they didn't like George Michael is full of s**t. The funniest sight you'll ever see is several, very straight, very muscular black guys (me included) singing along with the chorus..."Somebody tell me, Why I work so hard for youuuu! To give you money! Oh!! To give you money! Hey" and "And now you're telling me that you're having my baby...I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to. One step further and my back will break...and if my best isn't good enough...then how can it be good enough for two?"

That's one of the best baby-daddy lines ever. A line every guy, single or married can relate to. Gay or straight, George Michael was the man in 80's. One of the best Blue-Eye soul singers ever. Good music is good music. And Wham was great 80's pop. If liking them makes me gay...well then call me Darth Lyle. And then I'll kick your ass.

I used to make fun of god-sister for having George Michael and John Stamos posters on her wall. 20 years later, I guess the joke's on me.

Spoke Too Soon.....It was fun while it lasted...

Yanks lose tonight 2-1. Hank Blalock hits a 2 run bomb off of Wayne Franklin. Even with Texeira grounding into a 5-4-3 double play, you almost knew what was coming next.
Moose pitched well for six, but threw way too many pitches. F-Rod pitched well for a frame, but this is first appearance off the DL. You knew what was coming unless we scored a lot of runs in the eighth. We had to go to the bottomfeeders in the eighth because we were saving Gordon for the save.
Oh, well. The Sux won and we're a half game out. Small needs to come up big tomorrow....

Back In First

We're back in first and I don't even have a chance to enjoy it. I had the day from hell at work and I didn't have a chance update my page with anything clever. The Yanks are up 1-0 in the 8th vs Texas right now. The Sux won tonight, 5-2 with Bush-Boy Curtass getting his first save of the year. Hopefully, we can hold serve....to be continued...

Hate that Dirty Water...

I don't know if you a clip of Bronson Arroyo's video for his cover of Dirty Water(the Sux unofficial theme song, they play it every time they win). If you've never heard it here's the karaoke version of it. It's annoying as the town it celebrates. And the group (the Standells) that originally sings it...isn't even from the area!! They're from California! They have an obscure West Coast 60's garage band when they win. We have Sinatra. Sounds fair.

Needless to say, the song sucks and so does Arroyo's version. They also sing Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" at games as well. I've heard it's a bar favorite for some reason. Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off", I understand...but Neil Diamond? Anyway, they've managed to ruin that song as well. If they start singing the Stones or Stevie Wonder...guess what's coming to Third World Nation.....

Gratuitous Cathedral Picture

Since we won't be home for a week, I just wanted to remind you all what the Imperial church looks like....Bow down you bitch-ass infidels!!!!