Monday, March 20, 2006

Hate Is A Wonderful Thing In Sports

"Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side!"

"Good. use your agressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you."

"Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon - strike me down with all of your hatred, and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete!"

What do sports fans and Sith Lords have in common? They're the only ones who can honestly say that hate is a healthy thing for them (If the Sith existed, that is). If anyone else talked about as much about hate as we do as sports fans, we'd have them commited.

But in our world, hate is the food that fuels the fire of the multi-billion dollar business that is the sports industry.

Do you honestly think that Yanks-Sox or Yanks-Mets would be the cashcow it has become if the fans of these teams only "mildly disliked" their rivals? Or if it was filled with people who (groan) root for both teams? That it would evoke the same sort of passion among the masses? Please.

That's why I love hate. I embraced the hate in my heart like a mother would her newborn. I nurture it, let it fester and spread like an infected wound.

My hatred for the Red Sox and Duke kind of looks like the hole in Tony Soprano's stomach. Only I never change the bandage. I expose the wound to the world, wearing like a badge of honor. Allowing the polluted air to infect the wound.

And apparently, I'm not the the only one who feels this way. Because while I was looking for calendar in Barnes & Noble, I came across a book that might have the greatest title ever.

To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever


Former Esquire editor and Tarheel fan Will Blythe penned this instant classic about the Duke-UNC rivalry. A rivalry that is every bit as passionate and obsessive for the folks in that region as Yankees-Red Sox is for us.

It shows us how our hatred for our rivals can truly set us free if we let it. That's it's ok for us to allow as the Emperor says "our hate to make us powerful".

So to all the people out there who think that hatred in sports is unnatural and that you can root for "Duke & Carolina" or "The Yanks & Red Sox". That I have to get along with Metstradamus, the Metsmaster, the Boston Dirt Dogs and all their infidel Yankee-hating scumbag cronies....I say this. There is a special place in hell for you. Our Wars end when all wars end. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

More on this later...

The Mets have released Design plans for the new Shea Stadium.

Looks great although anything compared to Shea Stadium would be like the Taj Mahal.

Since Shea looks like it was designed by Picasso after week-long speedball binge, I'm glad the folks who designed went back in the past to the old Ebbets Field for inspiration.

If they play their cards right, this new park can become the kind of draw that Camdem Yards has become in Baltimore.

However, I already have Met fans telling how it will be a fun place to watch a game. Unlike the cathedral that is Yankee Stadium.

You know what "fun place to watch a ballgame" is code for? "We don't care if our team wins or loses, we won't hold our team accountable for sucking. It's ok if we go 72-90 every year. It shows that we're loyal fans...who cares if we blow money that could go to our kid's college education. We're loyal."

I am so tired of infidels who think that just because their team stinks that it's a sign of character that they root for them. That they don't switch sides in the middle of the war.

I can't wait when the Mets stink in this new park and you hear "Let's Go Yankees" reverberate through Queens because Mets fans allowed to Imperial forces to take over their stadium once again.

Same players, different address. Nothing will change once the Mets move. This will be a Yankee town as it's always been.


Blogger Karen said...

See, I always thought that when new park is built and it's referred to as a "fun place to watch a game" it's code for "Oh my god, they have five different sushi stands here! And gourmet coffee! And an exploding scoreboard! And an arcade! And an Olympic-sized pool in the outfield! And cupholders! And...oh, wait, there's a game going on?"


5:57 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

Love the HOLE IN TONY'S STOMACH reference! That was quite disgusting wasn't it?

8:08 AM  
Blogger Darth Marc said...

Very also means "Me and my children have the attention spans of goldfish so we need something other than the game to actual to keep our attention and keep us interested." God forbid, people actually go to the ballpark to actually watch baseball.

I've seen real gunshot wounds and that shot of Tony's belly was a little too realistic. Whoah...

12:21 PM  
Blogger kigogal said...

Hi! new to your blog, but LOVE it!
This comment, "I am so tired of infidels who think that just because their team stinks that it's a sign of character that they root for them. That they don't switch sides in the middle of the war." is soooooooooo true!
Thanks for putting my thoughts into words.
GO Yankees!
(I have to go to Boston for work tomorrow and am going to wear my Yankee hat through the airport. By Monday I may have some assault & battery charges and pending lawsuits...I hope I'm still conscious after the attacks so I can give descriptions to the dirty crooked Boston cops.) :-)

8:29 AM  

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