Darth Marc's Evil Empire Chronicles: Imperial Notes Before Armageddon

Before the Death Star lands at Castle Grayskull for the final battle between the empire and the infidels, I wanted to write down some quick notes about this series.

First off, the Yankees can't possibly lose to a team as dysfunctional as this Sox team. You've got Millar allegedly taking shots at Schilling....Foulke whining about the fans. Someone needs to the baseball universe a favor and put this team out of their misery. Not to mention that this team is running on fumes. Only Manny and Ortiz are the only thing keeping this team afloat. Everyone else is either spent, banged up or inactive. The latest cry for help was picking up Mike Stanton to bolster their bullpen. Yeah, he pitched well for the Nats in September in games that meant very little, but either Epstein is an evil genius or someone who clearly is at the end of his rope.

We need to destroy this team this weekend. Pick the bones clean. Let there be no doubt who the better team is. The only reason why they were able to stay afloat for as long as they have is because the majority of their games this month were home. In that bandbox, they'll always have a chance with Manny and Ortiz. Despite last night's win, this team is still very, very vulnerable. All it did was guarantee that they won't be eliminated tonight.

We need to learn from the Jays mistake last night. They jumped to an early lead but they allowed them to hang around until the end. You can't do that with this team. They have enough firepower to come back against anybody if the deficit is four runs or less. The Bombers have to hit them hard and fast. Get to the bullpen. Never let them think that they're in it. If you do that, they'll fold like a deck of patio chairs. There's not much left in the tank for them. Give them a couple of body shots and they'll quit.

I'm a huge fan of the infidel writer, Bill Simmons. I love his work. He is one of my favorite writers on sports/popular culture. But if you read his column today and his column yesterday about how noone cares who wins the MVP, you are clearly reading a man who is talking out of his ass. If you readhis MVP column, he's pretty much saying that A-Rod is going to win the MVP, but says that noone is going to care in 10 years and takes the typical shots that infidels take at A-Rod. That's he's no leader, he's absent in the clutch and that all of his hits are during blowouts.

Of course, anyone who has watched this team day and day out like I have, knows that all of these things are untrue, but it doesn't stop the infidel from writing it. Noone would question that Ortiz has been the best clutch hitter in baseball. But A-Rod has been no sloutch either. This weekend will probably decide who wins the award. If A-Rod has a great weekend and the Yanks win, he wins. If Ortiz goes off and the infidels prevail, than he'll win. As it should be. Winner take all. Loser goes home.

And I love the way these infidels who were ready to throw their folk hero Nomar under a bus to get A-Rod, but when their ownership got gunshy and Cashman slipped under the radar and got him, now he's Satan. Please. That town is so toxic, it makes the Meadowlands look like pristine. Why anyone would want to play in that town is beyond me.

Personally, I could care less who wins the MVP. The Yankees haven't had one since Don Mattingly in 1985 and only two in the last 30 years. And I don't think A-Rod cares either. A championship is all that matters to the Yankees and their fans. Ortiz laid down an awful bunt the other day to advance Renteria. He got him thrown out at second instead. Please, David. You're paid to swing the bat not bunt runners over. I thought that it was a pretty hollow gesture to impress the baseball writers. If you want to help, Papi...why don't you play the field? Probably because you'd give up more runs than you could possibly drive in....