Thursday, April 27, 2006

Saving Infidels From Themselves....Bedevil'd Again

Sorry for the delay in getting these posts out. But I was out late Tuesday divying season tickets up with my partners, the Imperial Guard and last night when I should have gone home and gotten some Z's.....I'm out late again watching the Mo get bitch-slapped by the D-Rays and the Rangers Louima'd by the stinking Devils.

Fun times all around.

So here's a question that I have for the panel today. How do you get booted from a baseball trip that hasn't happened yet?

By sending three unoriginal phone texts dogging the Yankees after a loss in friggin April!! That's how.

I'm on my way to Blondies last night and I get a text from my friend affectionately and appropriately called the Bald Fuck. It says "A-Fraud" referring to A-Rod's recent failures at the plate. The Bald Fuck, if you haven't figured out, is a Red Sux fan. I shake my head and walk into the bar.

After getting a little bent on a school night while suffering through that double debacle...I get two more texts from BF.


and the ever-popular phrase in Infidel-land....

"Yankees lose....Thaw Yankees Lose!!!"

Now riddle me this, imperial readers...if this guy is this obnoxious during a Wednesday night game in April. A game, mind you, in which I'm not even present...How much worse will he be at a game 200 miles away with a dozen other Yankee fans? With the Yankees down 10-1 to the stinking Orioles (heaven forbid)?

The sad thing was, I was warned by several people about bringing him to the game. One person said that they weren't going because he was. So I have noone to blame but myself. I thought that I could domesticate the savage. My mistake.

Normally, I wouldn't shed a tear if someone decided to put a hatchette in the back of the head of an obnoxious infidel (Particularly one who was born and lived in the Bronx), but in this case, because this involves friends of mine...and the fact that I might be implicated as an accomplice, it's better to err on the side of caution.

Sorry Bald Fuck, you're gonna have to sit this one out. Nothing personal. But it's in your nature to be...well, you. Besides, I'd rather use my money for alcohol consumption rather than bail.

I still love you though. Despite your evil scum-sucking team. This is for your really, really is....

Good news; Excellent pitching performances the last four games against good hitting teams. Yankee hitters are making pitchers work, resulting in high pitch counts.

The bad news; inconsistent results at the plate resulting in Yankee baserunners feeling more stranded than the cast of Lost.

And don't even get me started on the baserunning. In such a rush that you're running yourselves out of a big inning? Crawl before run, boys.

I'm not concerned about Mo blowing this yesterday. I don't care what he says. He hasn't gotten a lot and that's resulting in a coat of rust on him that makes him look like a sword from the Bronze Age. He needs to be in more game situations. And that's hard when one day you're winning 10-1 and the next you're losing 5-1.

I am concerned that we can't get a consistent effort from an like offense that has the potential to score 1000 runs. The Baltimore series was cool. They scored over five every game. All we need is consistency, 5,6 runs a game. Not 20-1 blowouts, then 4-3 losses.

What's the answer? I haven't a clue. The guys are making pitches work and they're getting on base. We just have to drive guys in the when opportunity presents itself. Plain and simple. Guys have to bear down and get hits.

More later tonight....


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