Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Sweet Lou Runs Out Of Tricks

According to the Baseball Universe bylaws, we're not allowed to kill employed baseball personnel during the season. And since it's highly improbable for Sweet Lou the Infidel traitor bastard to be fired, his execution will have to wait. But just because we can't kill him, doesn't I can't assign two old friends of mine to keep him trying anything...

Louis, meet Apocalypse and Mr Sinister. Your two new best friends. Any funny stuff, they won't kill you...but you'll wish that you were dead.

Of course, Lou being Lou, tried to use his powers to influence the game in the first inning as the Rays jumped to a quick 4-0 lead over Jaret Wright and Yankees. But Sinister and Apocalypse put a quick stop to that...beating Lou, GM Chuck LaMar and his entire front office to a pulp. The baseball gods were pleased.... and they brought back the natural order of things. Wright and Sturtze shut Tampa down the rest of the way. Giambi crushed a two run homer in the eighth as the Yanks won 5-4.

Even though he was in traction, Lou did try one more trick in the seventh as Jeter bounced into a inning ending double play with the bases loaded. Sinister quickly put an end to his treachery. Piniella will be eating his meals through a straw for the rest of the season.

After the win, Emperor Palpatine had this to say about Piniella's betrayal....
Lou Piniella was once an honored member of the Empire. Even when he competed against us, there was always a level of love and respect that we had for him and him for us. However, his years in Tampa have made him bitter. So, bitter that he would make a secret deal with the Prince of Darkness, Larry Lucchino. Playing with a rival is one thing, you have to go where the opportunities take you. But scheming with infidel to take down the empire is treason of the highest order. That is why, Louis, at the end of the season, you're going to meet a very good friend of mine.....

Bobba Fett will be the last face you see before you go to baseball hell.....


Blogger FenwayParked said...

Yo Darth,
The weekend approaches. THE WORLD CHAMPIONS are bound for the Bronx.
If Paul Revere rode down here he would be sounding the alarm tonight and warning the Evil Empire that "The Red Sox Are Coming!""The Red Sox Are Coming!"

2:48 AM  

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