Monday, August 15, 2005

Imperial Return From Dixie

Had a very interesting trip to Atlanta for the National Association of Black Journalists Convention (Aug 3-7).

NABJ is always fun, but this year was a very mixed bag. So without putting anyone's business out there, I will go over so of the highs and lows, the funny and not so funny moments of this year's convention.

Beautiful Black People-You would be hard pressed to find a more diverse collection of beauty and brilliance than this conference, year in, year out. Yeah, you have a few chickenheads and blockheads in the bunch. But for the most part, everyone brings something to the table. I'm known for my ahem, rather dyslexic, ADD, dating habits. My taste in women is as diverse as my taste in music. If it looks good or sounds good...I'm there. But last week, I took my chick ritalin. There was no way I was leaving the plantation to chase Scarlett O'Hara last week. And they were smart and nice too!! For you Charlotte's Web fans. I was like Templeton the Rat at the fair. A virtual smorgasbord/orgasbord of beautiful women. And I had a weekend pass to the festivities.

Airport Sucks!!-I have finally found an airport worse than Laguardia in NYC. When we finally landed Wednesday, It took over a half hour for them to taxi us to our gate. And when we finally got off the plane, the baggage claim was on the other side of the airport! Carrying five bags, without a cart in was like the friggin Bataan Death March walking across that damn terminal. Coming back, the dumbasses from Hertz give me the wrong directions to the airport. I rush to catch my flight....only to drop my work cell in the car....and to top it off....the flight was delayed by an hour!!!

High Point-Networking-Aside from ogling at incredibly hot women and partying, the other purpose was to make business contacts and network. NABJ is a great environment for this. Virtually every major news operation is represented at the job fair. It gives you the opportunity to see what's out there in terms of jobs...or if you're not looking for anything, to get a professional critique from the best in the business. It creates a environment where you can interact with people who normally would have nothing to do with you. There are a lot of folks who have a stick up their asses at work and are afraid to get too coozy with other employees. Particularly other black ones. NABJ enables you to meet these folks in an environment outside of the workplace. An environment encourages mentoring and anyone who's in the business that doesn't take advantage of this is an idiot...Plain and Simple.

Low Point-Slimy Quid Pro Quo-Now oI'm hardly a bastion of morals and standards. But some of these managers make Larry Flynt look like Pope John Paul II. The stories I've heard from female reporters about the offers these scumbags make just to get them in bed. Pathetic. "I'll give you a job on my staff, if you'll give me a taste." All sorts of grimey stuff. Now there's a lot of hanky-panky going on. A lot of Wedding bands disappear for that weekend. It is what is. But the Casting Couch stuff is wayy too much.

Low Point-Atlanta Clubs Suck!-Forty Dollars to get into a club!! That's was the going rate for some of these places. On top of 20 dollars for parking!!! What is in this club that's worth 60 bucks before I've even bought a drink? Do I get a couple lap dances? A happy ending? Puh-lease. Some friends give me a line on a club that we were supposed to get in for free. After jacking me for 20 bucks for parking, they have the nerve to tell me that won't let me in with shorts! You mean someone couldn't have told me that before they jacked me for an Andrew Jackson? Muthafuckas. And on top of that, the women at our conference lobby were much hotter than the chickenheads at any of these clubs. Huge ripoff.

High Point-City of Atlanta-A Chocolate City of the highest order. Outside of the shitty airport and clubs, it's a great city. Good Eats. Plenty of trouble to get into. And some fine ass women at that. One of the funnier moments; the Dell DJ's starts playing The Band's "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" as I drive by Turner Field. I got visions of Jim Leyritz dancing in my head. I have to admit, I got a little misty-eyed.

Low Point-No Yankee Baeball-Yes, I'm Diamond Crackhead. I'm checking scores every chance I get while I'm down there. I was like a junkie who needed a fix in the worst way. The only game I got to watch was the first night thatI arrived. This is how bad I've got it, I'm at the hotel bar, surrounded by beautiful women. And the only thing I'm focused on is how Moose is blowing a 4-0 lead to the Tribe at the Jake. And to add insult to injury, as Moose is getting scalped by the Indians, a friend from Cleveland come in and starting doing a jig over the Tribe comeback. Laughing at me in the process. It took an incredible amount of restraint not to kill them.
Our Wars Ends When All Wars End.

Since I've been threatened to be put to death if I mention anymore or publish any pictures... I have to end my tale here.


Blogger June said...

Atlanta's is the worst US airport hands down.

8:44 AM  

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