Thursday, July 14, 2005

Classic Dispatches: Pink Yankee Hats.

For those of you who are just familiar with my rants in cyberspace in blogform...these are for you. I had a weekly rant that I sent called "Dispatch From The Dark Side." Someone told me that I should reprint some old dispatches from a couple of months ago. Here's one from the May 9th of this year...

A little bone to pick to the "Pink Yankee Hat Contingent"

This is to the "Chicks Who Dig Long Ball." F**k these dumb hoes. Female baseball fans should take these women out into the street and stone them. Who are they? They're the girls who go to sports bars to meet guys, but have zero interest in sports.

They're the ones who want talk about American Idol or the soaps during a five run rally or leave the game early because "they're tired". They say they're Yankee fans but like the "Mets" too. They talk about how cute Johnny Damon is when the Yanks are down 5-1 to the Sox. They wear PINK Yankee Hats. Ugh.

And their obtuse kind have infiltrated the hearts and minds of the uninitiated. Their kind (and their boyfriends) need to be exterminated for good. We need to take the lead of Anakin and the Emperor and make them enemies of the empire like they made the Jedi. Then destroy them. Only then will the world and the empire be safe from Pink Yankee hats and stupid questions like, "when is the seventh inning stretch?"

Back to baseball.

This weekend showed us that PITCHING MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND. PITCHING, PITCHING AND MORE PITCHING. I'd rather win a game 2-1 than 10-8 anyday of the week. How many titles did those Indians teams win with Belle, Manny, Thome and Lofton? None! Why? Because Charles Nagy was their ace, that's why. Any coincidence Boston's curse doesn't disappear until they get a second ace and a closer? The Dodgers of the 50's only win one title despite fielding four hall of famers because the Yanks had three hall of famers in their pitching staff alone. GOOD PITCHING STOPS GOOD HITTING. EVERYTIME. It's why instead of going after Manny in 2001, the Sox should have gone after Moose. We got to the Series twice since then. Beaten each what? Superior pitching.

And hopefully these last three pitching outings by the Empire will start to their long road back to being a team worth hating again. I'm hesitant to start playing the imperial march but I'll say long as we can keep putting 4 quality starts a week, we have a chance to right this ship. Remember, the Yankees have rarely had five quality starters at one time during their run...Normally it's three or four. If we can four of the five clicking, we can make a nice run. As long as we stay within 5 to 8 games within whoever is in first for the next couple of weeks, we can make some noise down the stretch.


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