Friday, January 06, 2006

Merry New Year!!! New Bones To Pick With The World....

For those of you who got the Trading Places reference, bless you. For those who didn't...well, there's a special place in hell for you.

I probably need a life...but it burns my arse when I hear people mess this up...The random Star Wars references need to stop if you don't know what you're talking about.

To clear up any discrepancies....Here's the Readers Digest of version of Star Wars/Yankees analogies.....

Anakin/Darth Vader: Johnny Damon is not Anakin There is only one player who fits the status of the Chosen One. Babe Ruth is Lord Vader/Anakin. He was the one that changed sides and the shifted the balance of power between teams. He's the one that changed the game and saved the sport. Just like Vader helped Chancellor Palpatine create the first Galactic Empire, Babe Ruth helped to create the Empire that is the New York Yankees. The number one brand name in sports. Johnny Damon? He's a minor player in all this. A mercenary. More on them later.

The Death Star: That's easy, Yankee Stadium. What other place inspires such fear and dread in their opponents like the Stadium? A bigger than life monument to the Empire. That's why when the infidels finally won in 2004, Metstradamus wrote, "The Death Star Exploded?" Because metaphorically, it did.

The Rebellion: The Red Sox, Indians, Mets, Mariners and any other team and their fanbases who have tried and failed miserably to take down the Empire. Teams whose hatred of the Yankees borders on the pathological. Any team that has "Hate a Yankee Hanky" nights and sell Yankees suck paraphenelia when they're playing the Devil Rays deserves to be destroyed.

Bobba Fett and Jingo Fett: All the mercenaries who have come here for the money and rings. Reggie, Damon, Boggs, Johnson, Clemens, Sheffield, A-Rod etc would fit in this category. You might not like them, but they do serve a purpose. I will always have a place in my heart for players born into the empire. But sometimes the Fetts are a necessary evil.

The Empire: Yankee organization and its fans. Nothing else needs to be said. We are the glue that keeps it all together. What makes the world love and hate us at the same time. Like it or hate it, learn to love it because it's the best thing going.

Here endeth the lesson....


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